How to be a Pretend Agent – Lesson 1 : The Done deal

Have to be careful here, because get it wrong and you don’t half look a berk! (See what is now know as the Fellaini incident).

1. Find a player that everyone knows is going to move to a new club

2. Wait until its at a stage where the media have stated its going to happen

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3. Give it a day or two and before it actually finalises post its a done deal.

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4. Realise you have made a balls up and change your mind

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(This rule is one to try to be avoided for obvious reasons)

5. When the deal is completed in the real world retweet yourself saying how you confirmed it before anyone else. Retweet anyone who responds in a positive way, argue with anyone who disputes your knowledge and block them.

Foolproof! No-one can prove you didn’t know, and if it doesn’t happen just say they couldn’t agree personal termrs or something, or delete the tweet and pretend it never happened.

 

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